Space hoppers
Man, I know i have let this blog slide a wee bit in the last couple of months... but truly, i am now back. Like Gloria Gaynor, from outer space. I just logged in to find you here without any new words in my blogspace. *sings* I should have written to you more, i should made you cool and witty, if i had known for just one second you'd be useless without me... blah blah blah blah...
SO ANYWAY i have several million things to rant about. Not least the fact that i havent blogged. I blame the cosmos.
rant 1. That my doppelganger doesnt live closer to me, and all things pertaining to a happy doppelganger relationship. She's too far away. I dislike it intensely. I am realising more and more as i type that i am angry at things i have no control over. Whatever that says about me, i'm not ready to confront. I just want RESULTS, Universe. FIX IT FOR ME LIKE JIM or THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES.
rant 2. working out. Why does it have to be such a bloody difficult and time consuming slog to make yourself fit and aesthetically pleasing. I concur that i am pleasing on the INSIDE. But how many people want to see my insides? dont answer that.
rant 3. writing a book. I am considering taking on said writing project... but dont know where you begin. Do you start at the start or start from the end. GAD, why is it not SIMPLE. Anyone who retorts that anything worthwhile is never simple will not be allowed to pass go or collect 200 smackers, and will be beheaded at dawn.
rant 4. secrets... almost always come out eventually. Except mine, which i will take with me to the grave. I have made many mistakes, but i wont relinquish the information without first killing myself, therefore rendering the secrets null and void. HOWEVER... i found out something 'interesting' about two of my mates recently and everytime i think about it, i get a bit a of sick in my mouth. I'm not gonna spread the gossip though, its bad enough that I know!!!
rant 5. Ex boyfriends. Why oh why can we never just be friends? i dont get it.
I have no more anger within me... so i will relent from my outburst.
OOOH! My step dad and i embarked on a 80's throwback activity last night - a space hopping spree. The big inflatable orange space hoppers of yore!! You may well question why my step dad had a brand new space hopper, but you'd probably be best not to ask. Our dogs couldnt handle the bouncing activity and took to engaging in all out WAR with the helpless hopper in a bid to win our affections back.
You could say that our labradors are spoiled brats. You'd be right. Tia actually chest bumped Tony off the hopper mid bounce and threw him into my mums wardrobe. Bailey was actively trying to get ON the hopper with me, however the bouncy orange hopster is not a vehicle made for two. OR indeed, a vehicle at all. PLUS Dogs DONT have opposable thumbs, and arent generally reknowned for their skill at space hopping.
I reckon they were insanely jealous of our jumping shenanigans and our opposable thumbs. You think dogs are loyal? Think again my friend. These animals just want to space hop all over the shop and have no regard for their masters welfare in their bloody mindedness. They were going all La Rioux on us and going in for the kill...
Either way, it made for exceptionally comical viewing.
I might even go a stage further and say - space hoppers have been SEVERELY underestimated as a viable mode of transport. Settle down and just imagine for a second how much better the world would be if we space hopped to work...
we'd be fitter
they're better for the environment
and generally happier (have you ever engaged in space hopping activity without a big smile on your face?? Could you envisage a time where you space hopped whilst angry? COURSE NOT!)
(as long as you're not using 'space hopper' as a pseudonym for your genitals... or even if you are... )
That will be all.
<3 Foof
SO ANYWAY i have several million things to rant about. Not least the fact that i havent blogged. I blame the cosmos.
rant 1. That my doppelganger doesnt live closer to me, and all things pertaining to a happy doppelganger relationship. She's too far away. I dislike it intensely. I am realising more and more as i type that i am angry at things i have no control over. Whatever that says about me, i'm not ready to confront. I just want RESULTS, Universe. FIX IT FOR ME LIKE JIM or THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES.
rant 2. working out. Why does it have to be such a bloody difficult and time consuming slog to make yourself fit and aesthetically pleasing. I concur that i am pleasing on the INSIDE. But how many people want to see my insides? dont answer that.
rant 3. writing a book. I am considering taking on said writing project... but dont know where you begin. Do you start at the start or start from the end. GAD, why is it not SIMPLE. Anyone who retorts that anything worthwhile is never simple will not be allowed to pass go or collect 200 smackers, and will be beheaded at dawn.
rant 4. secrets... almost always come out eventually. Except mine, which i will take with me to the grave. I have made many mistakes, but i wont relinquish the information without first killing myself, therefore rendering the secrets null and void. HOWEVER... i found out something 'interesting' about two of my mates recently and everytime i think about it, i get a bit a of sick in my mouth. I'm not gonna spread the gossip though, its bad enough that I know!!!
rant 5. Ex boyfriends. Why oh why can we never just be friends? i dont get it.
I have no more anger within me... so i will relent from my outburst.
OOOH! My step dad and i embarked on a 80's throwback activity last night - a space hopping spree. The big inflatable orange space hoppers of yore!! You may well question why my step dad had a brand new space hopper, but you'd probably be best not to ask. Our dogs couldnt handle the bouncing activity and took to engaging in all out WAR with the helpless hopper in a bid to win our affections back.
You could say that our labradors are spoiled brats. You'd be right. Tia actually chest bumped Tony off the hopper mid bounce and threw him into my mums wardrobe. Bailey was actively trying to get ON the hopper with me, however the bouncy orange hopster is not a vehicle made for two. OR indeed, a vehicle at all. PLUS Dogs DONT have opposable thumbs, and arent generally reknowned for their skill at space hopping.
I reckon they were insanely jealous of our jumping shenanigans and our opposable thumbs. You think dogs are loyal? Think again my friend. These animals just want to space hop all over the shop and have no regard for their masters welfare in their bloody mindedness. They were going all La Rioux on us and going in for the kill...
Either way, it made for exceptionally comical viewing.
I might even go a stage further and say - space hoppers have been SEVERELY underestimated as a viable mode of transport. Settle down and just imagine for a second how much better the world would be if we space hopped to work...
we'd be fitter
they're better for the environment
and generally happier (have you ever engaged in space hopping activity without a big smile on your face?? Could you envisage a time where you space hopped whilst angry? COURSE NOT!)
(as long as you're not using 'space hopper' as a pseudonym for your genitals... or even if you are... )
That will be all.
<3 Foof
Comments
Post a Comment